To Smack or Not to Smack

When you stop to think about it, it is strange what cultural adjustments are easy for people, and what are not. Thinking about this one day in village (have you noticed? I sit a lot and think), I realized that many of my teammates and I have adopted several Malian practices; more specifically, there are certain cultural practices regarding children that we’ve become comfortable with. One of these is “chiing” children, or telling children to do something for you. This can range from telling children to mind their siblings, to sending them to the store, to hauling water, to whatever you need done and your child is available for. Funnily enough, this is not limited to commanding your own children to do it. In a way, children in Mali are public property; you can hold, play with, command or smack any child you want, even if you don’t know whose child it is. There have been numerous occasions where random children have wandered up to the clinic, and have been given money to go buy tea or cigarettes, for example. There has never been a time when a parent has told me that I could not hold their child or to stop whatever I’m doing in regards to their child. At first, I was a little apprehensive about telling kids to go do things for myself, as am I pretty capable person, but after 8 months here I’m coming around to the idea.
The other practice regarding children in Mali, to which I am also quickly coming around to, is the practice of smacking children. Maybe you’re wondering why me, of all people, would smack children. Don’t get me wrong, I love kids; but in truth, Malian children are tremendously rude by Western standards, and even a little so by Malian ones. Many children, both in the larger towns and in our villages, will not hesitate to try and get your attention by calling out “Toubab!” as loud and as many times as they can; at times they are honestly just trying to be nice and greet you, but mostly they regard you the same way one regards the monkeys at the zoo. My biggest pet peeve at the moment is children in my own village calling me “tubabmusoni!” i.e. little French/foreign woman, when they actually know my name. Another pet peeve involving children, and Malian culture, is asking for gifts. It is ok in Mali to ask, in a joking kind of way, where one’s gift is when one has gone on a voyage. However, because of my being white, this question is taken more seriously and asked more often, especially by children. I will, on a regular basis, be asked by kids in the street to give them a gift. I’ve been told that they have been taught how to say this in French at school, because foreigners will often hand out trinkets and what not all the time; whether this is true or not, I don’t know. Many children will also overstep the boundaries, trying to get in my house to see what I’m doing, petting and touching me, mocking my language skills, etc. which incites my ever natural reaction to teach them a lesson.
Before you worry, however, that I end up in trouble because I threatened to kick the village chief’s son’s ass, it is perfectly ok in Mali for people to beat children. I’m not saying its right, but it is definitely culturally acceptable for adults and older siblings to hit a wayward child (need not be your own!). In fact, I am constantly encouraged by the adults around me to threaten those offspring that step out of line. I don’t even need to actually touch them; Malian children are familiar enough with a raised hand, stick or tree branch, that they will hightail it in the opposite direction. For my part, I am always surprised that there does not seem to be more violence in Malian society, since spanking children is so common; but then I guess everyone gets over it, and then just does it to their own children when they’re old enough.